The Economy is in the Toilet...With the Rest of Us

So it's been a while now and I think it's safe to say that things have pretty much gone right down the shitter. The economy is barely afloat, North Korea wants to make the world glow in the dark by finally kicking off that whole nuclear winter thing, and the swine flu A-porka-lypse has officially begun. Not to mention that EVERYBODY is frickin' dead...or gay. Either way, it's bad. Not the gay thing, but you get the picture. Never fear, though. You know the economy has to turn around soon, because no matter how bad you've got it, there are a lot of people out there that make more money in a day than you'll make in your entire lifetime. Doesn't that make you feel better?

Perez Hilton gets his own economy for doing what I do for nothing

So here's a little dingleberry that floated by me on the internets today; blogger Perez Hilton's celebrity schmelebrity blog scored 14 million views in a single day. To put this in perspective, every blog made in Wordpress combined only get about 20 million views per day in total. Now I can't bash Perez Hilton for making a bazillion dollars in a single day for writing about something that nobody should be interested in (in this case the breakup between uber hot Megan Fox and whatever Brian Austin Green). The whole thing still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, though. The worst part about it is that even for that kind of money I don't think I could pretend to be that into celebrity gossip. Wait, wait. Let me try my hand at this. OKAY, so yesterday Chris Brown and Rihanna awwwwwwwwww God I can't do it. Oh well, at least obscurity and being poor are two things I've gotten used to.

Thoughts and Prayers

I'm sure most people know by now that former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker and DJ AM were severely wounded in a plane crash earlier this week in which four people lost their lives. Normally, asshole that I am, I don't mind when people poke fun at tragic accidents. I think death is something that needs to be taken in stride and there really is no opportune time to cease living, so it's kind of counter intuitive to call one death a tragedy and another no big deal. I'm just sorry that the lives of famous people get so much more attention than others, but that is the nature of the world. On the plus side, seemingly random events like this help remind us that anything really can happen and any moment and we must not only be careful in our day to day lives but balance that with living life to the fullest. Any loss of life is tragic and regrettable no matter the circumstances. The purpose of this post is not only to express my sadness for the families of everyone involved, but also to express my concern and thankfulness for anyone who might read this blog. To live an unacknowledged life is a great tragedy in itself. I once read an old philosophic saying that told us to live each day as if there were a raging fire in our hair. This means to live with energy and passion. So live with as much passion as you possibly can, because each day is little more than a dream fading away into nothingness.

Punisher: War Zone is going to be SICK!!!

Okay, I've got another awesome video for all of you intestinal parasites out there. I know that most of you probably worship the turds in Batman's toilet bowl after seeing The Dark Knight, but I'm telling you, it's the Punisher's time to rule. It's gonna be a red Christmas, bitches, just you wait and see.

Shameless self-promotion. I'm such a bastard!

But I'm a poor bastard, and that's what counts. Hello loyal readers...both of you. I'm just posting to say sorry for not updating lately. I'm going to try to find something good in pop culture to crap on next week, so to speak. But until then I want everyone to know that I'm promoting a novel that I wrote. If anyone has been to my other websites you've probably seen it before and by now you're probably screaming, "Enough already, you pretentious shit head!"

But I can't. Writing is my passion! My calling! Isn't it funny how most of the time when people talk about their passions it turns out to be something they're at least halfway good at? Well, whether or not my writing's worth the cheap ass paper it's printed on is up to you. First off, I love trashy cheesy action-packed time-filler novels, and that's mostly what Nightmare U is. For those of you not in the know, the U stands for University. Yes, that's right. It's about the horrors of the modern American education system!!! Just kidding, it's got demons and psychic powers and guns and stuff.

So look, even if you don't want to read my book, I highly urge you to check out something by an unknown independent author. Who knows? Like a porno in a bargain bin, you might just find a real gem you can sink your teeth into. Because the bottom line is Dan Brown and Stephen King don't need any more of your money.

Here's the link and thanks for taking the time to look.

http://www.lulu.com/content/2875709

Look out Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal is ... Cockpuncher!

This is quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever seen.



Too bad it's not a real movie.

Let's count all the reasons the world sucks, shall we?

1. Lindsay Lohan's a lesbian
2. Miley Cyrus
3. New Kids on the Block reunion
4. Miley Cyrus
5. The Jonas Brothers
6. Joan Rivers is still alive
7. Did we cover Miley Cyrus yet?

Okay, okay. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic here. I mean, really, what on the list couldn't possibly be viewed as a good thing? I mean, Lindsay Lohan might be bumping fur now, but we can all still hope for a sex video scandal, right? Well, that might not be so great since I didn't even know about the lesbian thing until somebody told me Samantha Ronson is a woman. Strangely enough I'd seen her several times before. And Joan Rivers, who hasn't gotten a laugh at her expense? Perhaps the most overdone here (for the purposes of cynical comedy, of course) is Miley Cyrus. It's not so much her that I'm angry at, it's her father for making her think she can sing and Disney for not telling her the truth. As far as the Jonas Brothers and NKOTB are concerned...I'm pretty sure this is that 1,000 years of darkness thing they mentioned in the Bible.

"Nobody's perfect."

"Except us, bitches. All your daughters are belong to us!"