Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Let's count all the reasons the world sucks, shall we?

1. Lindsay Lohan's a lesbian
2. Miley Cyrus
3. New Kids on the Block reunion
4. Miley Cyrus
5. The Jonas Brothers
6. Joan Rivers is still alive
7. Did we cover Miley Cyrus yet?

Okay, okay. Maybe I'm being a little pessimistic here. I mean, really, what on the list couldn't possibly be viewed as a good thing? I mean, Lindsay Lohan might be bumping fur now, but we can all still hope for a sex video scandal, right? Well, that might not be so great since I didn't even know about the lesbian thing until somebody told me Samantha Ronson is a woman. Strangely enough I'd seen her several times before. And Joan Rivers, who hasn't gotten a laugh at her expense? Perhaps the most overdone here (for the purposes of cynical comedy, of course) is Miley Cyrus. It's not so much her that I'm angry at, it's her father for making her think she can sing and Disney for not telling her the truth. As far as the Jonas Brothers and NKOTB are concerned...I'm pretty sure this is that 1,000 years of darkness thing they mentioned in the Bible.
"Nobody's perfect."

"Except us, bitches. All your daughters are belong to us!"

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